These action films where the good guy calls the one person he trusts and he betrays him. So I called NBC, CBS, ABC, the Washington Post and the New York Times….
Okay, that’s a paraphrase of a line from Shoot ‘Em Up, Clive Owen’s latest film. Seriously though, here’s what I really hate: People who completely miss the point of a movie! Everyone is complaining that this movie is over violent and has no plot to speak of. Well, duh! This movie is a great parody of the over-the-top “John Woo-esque” action flick. Don’t get me wrong… I love John Woo–his actual work is amazing. It’s too bad he’s been copied by no-name hacks that forgot to hire a screenwriter.
Most reviews give you a plot synopsis, so here’s one for Shoot ‘Em Up:
Bang
Bang
Paper Thin Plot Device
Bang
Bang
More Paper Thing Plot Happenings
Bang
Bang
Paper Thin Plot Wrap Up
Bang
Bang
Got it? Good. Look, this movie works on two levels… first, it’s non-stop action that can be unbelievable at times (but nowhere near as bad as the scene in Transporter 2 where Jason Statham‘s character removes the bomb from the bottom of his car by flipping it off of a ramp and letting a crane scrape it off), yet it always entertains.
Or, you can see the movie for what it is and laugh hysterically through the whole thing like Ann and I did. It pokes fun at everything you’ve ever seen in an action film. The bad guys with pony tails, the inexplicable link between sex and violence (despite there never being an appropriate time or place), and the ridiculous slides across warehouses (or falls down multiple floors) where the hero somehow never runs out of bullets, hits every target perfectly, and somehow doesn’t stop moving until everyone is dead and then lands perfectly safe. All the while Smith (Owen’s character) munches on carrots and complains about every little thing, as if he’s seen and lived through it all before–always starting off with the line, “You know what I really hate?” And Hertz (Giamatti’s character) pontificates about his own greatness and yet is baffled by his own inadequacy to stop one man (“My god. Do we really suck or is this guy really that good?”), all while placating his wife via cell phone about normal domestic happenings.
That same weekend (I started this post the weekend these movies opened), I saw 3:10 to Yuma with my pops. We’ve always watched Westerns together, and I couldn’t imagine seeing one without him. That said, I really liked this movie as well. Like any great Western it really tried to shine a mirror back on contemporary society. Dan Evans (played by Christian Bale) has seen better days. He’s about to lose his farm to creditors because he had to borrow mass amounts of money due to a drought. He’s trying his hardest to make ends meet, but since the loss of one foot he’s just not up to the task. He lost said foot after being drafted into a war he didn’t want to fight in and was shot in the leg by one of his own men while retreating. The government thanked him for his service and sent him packing. All that leads to him signing on as part of a posse to escort soft-spoken and charming outlaw Ben Wade (played by Russell Crowe) to meet the 3:10 train to Yuma. During the next few days Evans deals with his ineptitude, frustration, temptation, and honor, all while realizing he may not be all that different from Wade. In the end he stands alone, always knowing exactly how it will all wind up. All in a pretty good western, with amazing acting, not just by the two main actors, but by the supporting cast as well… Too late to catch it in the theater now, but definitely worth the rental when it comes out!
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